Don’t wait for someone to offer. Don’t wait to be noticed. Ask someone.

For the last 13 years, I have done something every fortnight that has been such an encouraging, inspiring and challenging part of my journey with Jesus that I am amazed people survive without it. I call this discipleship, some people call it mentoring and others call it spiritual direction. Whatever it is called, people often ask me how it works so I’d like to describe it here. 

It all started when I was in my first week at Loughborough University. I went up to a bloke called Nick at church and asked if we could meet up to chat. He was a bit older than me, he was really kind and very funny. Every fortnight we met up and chatted through all that was going on in my life. We talked about everything from Jesus to car engines. We became great friends but there was an interesting dynamic to it that is very rare. Nick used to say, “Our time together is for you. What do you want to talk about? What do you want me to keep you accountable on? Where do you want to grow?” Nick had someone else that he could process his thoughts with so I was free to talk about me! This meant I could go to cell group and serve, bless and listen to other people and it meant I could go on a Sunday, free of any baggage and give it up to the Big Guy in the Sky! (I know God doesn’t live in the sky)

Since then, Nick has been replaced by other people as I have moved location and life stage, but the principle has been the same. They have helped me to process some of life’s biggest challenges, given wisdom, helped me pray and urged me on in the faith. It is similar to the relationship Paul had with Timothy in the bible. Paul was older and encouraged Timothy to fan into flame the gift of God that was within him. 

I have been this person for 12 other lads over that time and I say to them, “Our time together is for you. What do you want to talk about?”. In fact, many people in our church community now have this kind of relationship to help them grow. But the point is, it’s up to you to arrange it. Don’t wait for someone to offer. Don’t wait to be noticed. Ask someone. And if you’re not sure who to ask, ask God who it is. 

Let’s be honest, we all need somewhere to process our stuff. This means we are free to lead and released to serve. So if this has resonated with you as you have read it, ask someone today!