IF YOU COULD WRITE A LETTER TO YOURSELF AS YOU STARTED UNI, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?

Dear Young Self,

You have such high expectations of this journey through Uni (we used to call it 'Varsity').  You are going to bump your head on some of those high expectations.  Such as, with so many eligible men around, you will easily find a boyfriend.  Not necessarily! And that will make you feel like you are a loser, or that there is something wrong with you.  The unspoken message will be that "only a social misfit goes through first year without finding a special person to share your life with"; another urban myth -'if you haven't found a husband by the time you finish at uni then you are on the shelf';  a lot of emotional turmoil, loneliness, uncertainty, insecurity will be churning away inside you.  After all, you are the first child in your family of 5 to leave home which is 2,500 kms away, and in another country, and to go to uni.  As a lot of your expectations are not immediately fulfilled, you are going to feel very uncertain whether this is for you.  

What about choosing which subjects to take?  Oh my goodness!  Such a range and not all that exciting after all. You'll have thoughts like "It looks like a lot of work.  I thought I was coming here to have fun. " "Am I sure I want to do that course? It will mean having to get up really early to catch a bus to upper campus. Perhaps I will choose something easier."   "Will I be able to keep up?" The first few weeks are quite overwhelming with registration, new everything, new friends, every society wanting you to join them; the demands of  trying to choose courses that fulfill the requirements of your degree etc.  You may find that eating becomes your escape and your comfort and suddenly you put on 10 kgs in the first term! That's going to play havoc with your self-esteem and confidence, and especially with attracting that boyfriend you would like to meet.  

What will really be your best line of action will be to find other Christians and anchor yourself there.  A Christian fellowship will help you put roots down.  You will meet people in a caring, relaxed environment, who will accept you just as you are; you will get to know more senior students who can guide you through the myriad of choices, decisions and issues you are suddenly facing.  But don't let that group be your only social contacts.  Have the courage to get to know your flat mates, classmates and sports colleagues.  

It is very easy to play things safe and stay only with people who believe what you do.  But you will be stretched and challenged by people who have different world views and often no faith.  What will hopefully happen is that you will realise how much you need to find God in a much deeper way than the childhood faith of your past years.  Now you are going to have to struggle with whether this Jesus is real and is there for you, or should you throw it all over and go with the flow.  But you might find that somehow, even if that seems the obvious route to go because then you can just blend in with the crowd, you can't turn your back on God.  Because He is there, and He loves you and knows what you are going through.  He is doing something deep in you and you will emerge from the chrysalis, to be the butterfly he has planned for you to be. The struggle is part of the transformation.  

So, I want to assure you that He will not let go of you, you will make it through, and know that it is a very rich experience that you have the privilege to be embarking on.  You will make good friends, you will grow in many ways, emotionally, spiritually, socially, intellectually, and will discover who God is calling you to be for Him.  And somewhere out there is the man God has planned for you to have as a life partner.  Make sure you let Him guide you to that in His time and choose someone who loves Jesus like you do. If you start dating someone who does not share your faith, you will be pulled away from your own following of Jesus.

So may you have a wonderful journey, manage to get that degree - don't forget that studying is what you are there for! - and come through it all, very much richer and maturer than you went in.  And remember to look out for next year's first years and reach out to them because you will know what they are going through.  

Love, Charm