The Decision-Making Exercise
How to break free from paralysis when everything feels urgent (and exciting)
In the first blog of this series, I shared why I believe coaching tools can be such a gift to those involved in student ministry, especially when the needs are great and the hours are few. Whether you’re employed by your church, volunteering in the margins of your week, or just getting started with student mission, the pressure can feel the same: there’s so much to do, and not enough time to do it.
One of the biggest barriers to moving forward is simply decision paralysis.
You care about your students. You want to try new things. You’ve got more ideas than hours, and every idea feels valid, valuable, or maybe even urgent. But instead of choosing one, you get stuck. You stay busy, but you don’t move forward. That brilliant outreach idea you had three years ago? Still sitting on the back burner.
Sound familiar?
This reflection tool is designed to help with exactly that, not by telling you what to do, but by creating space to think clearly, weigh your options, and prayerfully commit to one thing.
The Decision-Making Exercise
A tool to help you name what matters most right now
Set aside 1–2 hours. Grab some paper, pens, and find a quiet space if you can. This isn’t about finding the “perfect” idea, it’s about creating clarity so you can make peace with what you choose (and what you don’t).
1. List All the Options
You’ll need three separate sheets of paper:
Page 1: Non-Negotiables
What’s already in your diary? What do you have to do every week? List the things that can’t be dropped e.g. Sunday services, staff meetings, existing 1-1s, etc.
Page 2: New Ideas
Let it all out. Every project, dream, or half-baked thought. Don’t filter. Keep going until you can’t think of anything else.
Page 3: Goals & Values
What are you actually aiming for in student ministry? What do you hope your students will become? What values shape how you lead? Write a few phrases that capture what matters most.
2. Picture Each Idea as a Door
Every idea is a door you could open. Take time to reflect on each one using these questions:
What if this happens?
What good might come of pursuing this idea?
What if this doesn’t happen?
What might be gained, or lost, by leaving this door shut?
What won’t happen if this happens?
What might have to be set aside to make this work?
What won’t happen if this doesn’t happen?
What potential will remain untapped if you never act on this?
What do you need to make this happen?
Do you already have the time, skills, budget, and people? If not, what would need to change?
You can do this as bullet points or sketches, whatever helps you engage best.
3. Step Back and Reflect
Look over your notes. Ask yourself:
- Which idea aligns most clearly with your values and vision (Page 3)?
- Which idea feels most manageable within your current reality?
- Which idea are you most drawn to after prayer and reflection?
Highlight or circle the idea that seems to rise to the surface.
4. Take One Step
Choose the door you want to open, just one, and write down your next small step. Set a deadline. Tell someone else. Pray and thank the Holy Spirit for His creativity, and offer the rest of the ideas back to Him.
You can always come back to them later. Choosing one thing now doesn’t mean you’re saying no forever.
Final Thought
You don’t need to do everything. In fact, trying to will only lead to frustration and burnout. What you need is clarity, and a little courage to act on it.
This tool won’t answer all your questions. But it might help you ask better ones, the kind that lead to movement, not just more thinking.
Next up in the series: We’ll look at what’s in your hands, and what might need to be shared, passed on, or laid down entirely.
In the meantime, if you’d like space to process some of this with others, our Student Mission Coaching team runs small coaching cohorts where you can reflect, connect, and sharpen your ministry with others.
