Imagane you were stopped from pursuing your image of external success, what would happen?
I've previously drawn so much comfort, identity and strength from my achievements and future goals. Sometimes those things have shattered, either through my own iniquity or more unnervingly with no obvious rhyme or reason. When the façade has cracked, I've suddenly become less sure of what I was once so certain.
Aged eight I set my heart on playing professional football. A decade later I sat in a meeting with a variety of coaches and managers. They looked me in the eye and ‘released’ me from a future in football. ‘Released’ appeared to me not to carry any subtext of having my freedom from captivity proclaimed. It felt empty and gut wrenching. I had tied my identity to an external measure of success, the control of which was ultimately out of my hands. The word grief might seem an exaggeration, but without doubt I have spent years grieving the experience of being ‘released’.
What if beyond a momentary emotion, grief was actually a process? Whether physical, social or occupational, loss is often accompanied by feelings of anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness and despair. I put it to you this process called grief and the accompanying negative emotions are normal and healthy:
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” Matthew 5:4 NIV
To unlock the truth of Gods comfort in our lives must we first mourn? What if to be comforted we had to not only face our loss but also hand over its control to God, “who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God”. 2 Corinthians 1:4
Situations outside our control will always conspire to shape the decisions we can influence. Mourning loss will cost us but through developing self-awareness we cultivate an attitude of empowerment. When we honestly identify pain and disappointment we take first steps toward helping someone in the same bind. My strong conviction is that we must process events happening around us. By choosing empowered self-awareness we reject the wide path that says burying emotional pain is helpful.
My experience tells me we are not called to an apathetic faith that flees failure and disappointment. Somewhere in the process of committing to and failing in the pursuit of professional football I ceased to be a boy and became a man. Perhaps it was in the midst of being released’ from the thing I loved the most.
What hurt do you need release from?
