aim
The purpose of this meeting is to encourage friendships - through all the talk of accountability, teamwork, community; it is friendship which will provide the foundation for the group.
welcome
Go around the group naming a good friend. Say which are the three qualities in them that you admire the most.
worship
read
Let the focus of the worship time be on Jesus as a friend who sticks by us in every circumstance and who is closer than even a brother. Use relevant music to support this time of thanks, praise and devotion to God.
If you feel it is appropriate for your group, you could ask people to thank God for the friendships they have, saying what they enjoy about them and why they are so important to them.
You could also extend this to include unchurched mates. Thank God for them, speak out they’re good traits and why you appreciate them as a friend.
word
We’re looking at LOYALTY, UNITY & CONFLICT
read
think
Who has inspired loyalty in you? What was it about that person that drew you to them? How can we inspire loyalty in others? Why is loyalty important for building the group?
Get people to feedback to the group. Make sure that one person doesn’t dominate and that you draw out contributions from every member.
read
discuss
What do you understand unity to be? Why is it so important that we are united? What barriers are there to unity? How can we encourage unity in the group? What is it to be united in spirit, intent on one purpose [Phil 2:2]? How does the unity/diversity paradox work out from your point of view?
application
We are bound to face conflicts in the life cycle of the small group- it’s an inevitability of a being with other humans! Often the issue is not whether you have conflicts, but how they are resolved when they occur.
read
questions
- What sort of things could there be conflict over in the group?
- Who do you become when you get into conflict?
- How do you feel?
- What ways do you try to close the situation down and not let the conflict be worked out as it needs to be? [I get angry and louder, I get withdrawn and say nothing etc]
It is just possible that you as an individual may, at some point, be the source of a conflict in the group!
If this is so, you may need to understand how you are wired, how the other person is wired and where your apparent differences come from. The challenge is to make a decision now that you will be open to this - how will you respond? How can we learn to be accepting of others’ points of view? Where do our own beliefs about how people ought to be come from? [Parents, education church background]
This does not need to be answered aloud, but rather encourage people to think hard about this.
Get into pairs and share as openly as you feel able. Pray into this. Identify the main areas in which you need God’s help to change and ask Him for his help. You probably have a pretty good idea of your perspective of the world. What we need is God’s perspective. Ask him for this.
witness
Jesus said that “By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” [John 13:35]
How much do the people in your relational networks get to see the love you have for one another? Be honest – brainstorm ideas together. If you don’t feel that your commitment to one another is seen by the world, how could it be more visual?
