I recently met with James from Bath. He is the worship pastor at St.Swithins Walcot and he loves to see students involved in the local Church.

Navigating the post-uni years can be challenging as we enter into a new life post-studentdom. There is something unfamiliar about what happens after the mortar boards have been excitedly flung.

I had a fairly unusual university experience and I was pretty unsure of how to start this blog, so I asked some wise and straight-talking friends for tips for navigating their 20's. It’s good to remember we are not alone when we graduate, post-university life works best done with family and friends, surround yourselves with those who have gone before you! You might find yourself facing these things:

• We take our first steps out of the education pipeline, while there is freedom in this there is also the unknown.
• Friends are all doing different things at different paces in different places. At this point it’s easy for comparison to increase its grip on us.
• Loved ones start to spread their wings, following the jobs, romances and adventures. Sometimes we have to rebuild our social lives from scratch, without the hubbub of a school or university community to draw from.
• Social rhythms change too, some of the spontaneity of uni is left behind and DMCs at 3am become a distant memory. We have to be increasingly intentional with our social time.

I’d always imagined the post-uni years to be the first bit of life that was defined, sorted and settled. I had hoped I would be in my vocational sweet-spot, financially stable, happily married, at my physical peak, emotionally mature, and with all the self-confidence-vibes of a gladiator facing a baby mouse. Sadly, although I have grown and I have found myself working where I feel called, the sleepless nights and the seasons of anxiety tell me it’s not been anywhere near that breezy. Sometimes it can be easy in these seasons to forget that we are blessed.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven”. The opening lines of Jesus great sermon are rich with blessings and He tends first to those who know they really need it. He starts with those who don’t have it all together. It is a blessing to know you need God. You are blessed if you know you cannot make it on your own. You are blessed if you know what you’re worth to God. You are blessed if you know we do not need to strive to gain God’s approval or to summon His kingdom. It is His good pleasure. 

While there are many unknowns to navigating the post uni years, there are many truths we can stand on too. You are blessed is one of those truths. If I could draw one piece of advice from mine and my friends experience post studentdom it would be this...

Share your life. All of it.

It only needs to be with a few people. The people that know you well, see things from a different perspective, speak with wisdom, and have your best interests at heart. For me, that mostly takes place with my three prayer partners, my mentors and my parents. I try to tell them everything- sharing my problems is not to get the approval of a mentor or friend, or to simply tick the accountability box, I want to hear what God has to say through the people God has put around me. These people know me the best and have my best interests at heart. So why sugar-coat anything? I want to know that when my 20s may feel, at times, overwhelming, unfamiliar and unplanned, there are people who listen, see the whole picture, remind me that I need God, and speak God’s blessing over me.

Sharing your best and your vulnerabilities is meant to be a loving, selfless, generous act. This is how it was for Jesus when he walked the earth. You never know, telling someone your struggles may be the very thing that breaks down their own sense of isolation. The apostle Paul challenges us to run our own race free from comparison and with our eyes fixed on Jesus. Paul also celebrates that we are cheered on by a great cloud of witnesses. What a gift that is, to be spurred on by those who stand with us and those have gone before us in laying down their lives for Christ.

Accountability does not have to be an uncomfortable and scary discipline with power dynamics at play.  Accountability, at it’s best, is a place of nurturing, supportive, Christ-like relationships (James 5:16; Galatians 6:2). We are all going through stuff. When we share our stuff, we all have the beautiful privilege of weeping with those who weep and dancing with those who dance (Romans 12:15).