This blog is a part 2 of a 3-part series of prayer letters between a student and God. Each blog follows the student throughout her 3 years at university and highlights some of the same prayers and questions you may have.
I’m back at uni after 3 months at home. The summer felt long, but you know that. I’m really glad to be back. It’s taken a few weeks to adjust back into uni life but I feel like I’m getting there! Things do feel different this time around though. There were new Freshers at church throughout September and it doesn’t feel long ago that it was me. I sometimes feel like a fraud because I’m being called a ‘leader’, but I feel like I’m still new myself. What does it mean to be a leader? You taught me that being a good leader just means being a good follower, can you help me to do that?
One of my favourite things about church is our small group. It looks a lot like the church I read about in your letters. We pray together, we read together, we even invite friends along. You come up a lot in conversation, so a lot of my friends, especially the ones on my course, are interested in learning more about you. They don’t understand our relationship or why I write letters or why I read yours, but even so, they ask lots of questions.
Last year was the first year that I’d considered a lot of the questions they were asking and honestly, I didn’t feel confident about answering them. But this year, I’m feeling more confident. Not because I’ve learnt all the answers, but because even when I don’t know what to say, my friends enjoy it when we find the answers together. They seem to appreciate my honesty, and I know that you’ve helped me to love them well, even when they keep me up until 3am with their questions (and sometimes arguments!).
I’ve been asked by my student leader to lead a small group this year. Honestly, I feel nervous. I’ve never really done this before, but people from church have helped me to feel more equipped. We went to a training session for small group leaders and I left feeling more confident. I don’t really know what to expect from my group, but I hope I can help people the same way they helped me last year. You know that I struggled with my questions about you? Some might even call them doubts? Well, my small group helped me to feel safe in asking my questions, and even welcomed in my friends who wanted to know about you too. I actually think our relationship is better because I could share openly with them. I hope I can help others to feel safe in asking questions just like they did with me.
You’ve always helped me to feel strong and would tell me to come to you if I felt weak. I’m excited to be a leader this year, but I feel weak. Can you help me to be strong?
Thanks for everything Dad.
Love you x